Allison's Wonderland

Brat Alert Brat Alert!

There are two things in this world that I can not stand.  Number one:  Lying, dishonest people.  Number two:  Bratty spoiled children.  When you have a lying dishonest bratty spoiled child you have just combined the two things that I detest the most.  

Bratty random child

Forgive me for this post, but I just had to write about it.  It's more for me to look back on and think, "Wow, this horrible 9 to 5 job I have right now is not that bad in comparison to the stuff that I had to put up with when I was an Au Pair in England," than for my readers, which I hope you enjoy despite that fact that it's mostly for me.     

Incident #1 - The Sick Trampolinist

Back yard with Trampoline

Let's start with story number one shall we?  Names have been changed to protect the innocent. :)  We'll call the younger one Shelly (10) and the older one Sarah (12).  I had to babysit for some reason I can't remember, but it was Shelly, Sarah and I at home.  We decided to jump on the trampoline.  One of the girl's favorite games on the trampoline is crack the egg.  It was 8:45 and the bed time was set for 9:00 pm.  I made this very clear before we even got on the trampoline so there would not be a question.  We jumped for a bit and than I "cracked" the egg two times each.  On Shelly's last turn she would not move for Sarah to go.  She sat there like a stubborn mule and would not move.  So I told Sarah that I would just bounce her.  Well that wouldn't suit Sarah.  She wanted a turn all to herself, so she ends up putting her athlete's infested foot right on the cheek of Shelly.  Well seriously who in their right mind would want that in their face?  So Shelly starts screaming and swatting at Sarah, meanwhile I'm trying to get everyone to calm down and break it up.  This wasn't the first fight of the night I had to referee.  After the series of skirmishes I was fed up and told both of the girls to get ready for bed and go to their rooms.  Their cousin from Houston, Texas had just arrived from the U.S. and was sleeping on the couch as she only had about 3 hours of sleep.  This comes into play later in the story.  Sarah gets all in a tizzy because she can't find her tie for the next day at school.  The girls wear uniforms to school and this is a usual nightly routine as nothing is ever put in a proper place.

Meanwhile why I'm trying to look for Sarah's tie, Shelly starts complaining that she's sick.  When all actuality I know she doesn't want to go to bed.  She was jumping on the trampoline five minutes ago and fighting with her sister.  She had pulled this same exact thing the week before.  She faked a sprained ankle to get attention because she had been cheating in a previous Capture the Flag match with me, Sarah and some neighbor girls.  We were all upset at her and went into the kitchen as she sat outside.  That's when 15 minutes later she faked the injury so people would pay attention to her.  10 minutes later she was up and running in the back yard like nothing ever happened.  After she complains of a stomachache, I calmly tell her that it is best that she go to bed and lie down so as to feel better.  "No NO," she says, "I need some fresh air."  She then sits next to the window in the kitchen which is adjacent to the living room where her cousin is sleeping.  I tell her, "Fine, I will open the windows in your room for you so you can have fresh air while you try to sleep."  Nope that wasn't good enough.  She just starts wandering all around the house like a nomad.  I follow her and say, "Shelly, it is time for bed.  Go upstairs and brush your teeth."  I was trying to be quiet and not yell due to the fact that their seriously sleep deprived cousin was sleeping two feet away from where Shelly and I were talking. 
Sarah is on the phone with her Mom trying to get information on the whereabouts of the tie.  Then Shelly interrupts Sarah and takes the phone away.  I was upstairs looking for the tie and over heard what Shelly was telling her Mom.  It went something along the lines of me screaming and yelling at her to go to bed when she was complaining of being sick and me not doing anything about it, but just screaming.  "Okay, here we go", I thought to myself.  "You wanna play that game?  Bring it on."    Shelly than says that her Mom wanted to talk to me.  I could see that coming from a mile away.  I get on the phone and said, "Hello", all very stern like.  She says, "Shelly tell me that she's not feeling well and that you're yelling at her to go to bed.  Can't you show some sympathy?  Give a glass a water and rub her head?  You need to be sympathetic to her."  I retorted with, "I understand what you're saying, but I honestly have a hard time believing that she was sick when she was jumping on the trampoline five minutes ago."  Do I have IDIOT written across my forehead or something?  The whole time we were talking on speaker and Shelly was standing right there listening to the whole conversation.  "Did the girls do something to upset you, Allison?", she asked.  I responded with, "They were on the trampoline fighting again and I'm very frustrated at the moment."  Shelly is in the corner doing the fake cry.  I was so angry I could feel my cheeks getting hot.  Here I was trying to defend myself when a 10 year old is lying about number one being sick, and number two the fact that I was "Yelling and screaming" at her to go to bed.  It was a huge load of bull.  I told her Mom how I told her she needed to lie down and that I would open the windows, but than Shelly started saying how that wasn't true.  Really?  REALLY!?!?  Shelly then pipes up again and reiterates how I was screaming and yelling and not showing her any sympathy.  I just stood there with my mouth to the floor.  After her Mom hung up the phone Shelly looks at me with a smug little face and just says "Hmm..." like I win you loose, told you so.  I probably could've back handed her right then and there, but I'm not a violent person and I don't hit children.  Especially ones who are not my own.  Oh I believe wholeheartedly in spanking a child, but one that is not my own is a different story. 

I looked at Shelly with hot cheeks and anger in my eyes and asked her flat out if she believed what she had just told her Mom to be true.  She said yes very softly that I yelled and screamed at her to go to bed.  I asked her again if she believed everything she told her Mom was the truth.  She then nodded her head.  I simply said, "Go upstairs and go to bed."  I then removed myself from the situation and went for a walk in the backyard.  If I would not have gone I might have exploded.  Thankfully I had Sarah to back me up in the whole situation.  She knew Shelly wasn't sick and she knew I wasn't yelling and screaming.  She talked to her Mom on the phone and once the Mom was home we got everything cleared up.  Oh and 10 minutes after she gets herself finally up to her room she gets herself a ball and starts skipping around.  Sick?  My freakin foot!  I was so angry though I literally was ready to pack my bags and board the next plane home. You just don't lie about to other people and especially she did it right in front of my face!  The nerve!  The nerve of Jeremy Waterman!

Another Brat

Incident #2 - The Table Setting Rebel

You want to know another pet peeve of mine?  When a child who I watch tells me, "That's not how Mom does it."  Do I look like your mother?  Do I care?  No, I'm not your mother, I never will be, so when Mom is not here things are done differently.  Mom has been away in Morocco for the week, so it has been me, Dad and the girls.  When Mom's away the kids will play. :)  Their Dad was busy with work so I took over making dinner.  No problem, easy peazy, lemon squeezy.  Before Dad went to the office to finish up a few things he asked Shelly to set the table.  Now a table setting is place mats, fork, knife, cup, and plate.  Am I right?  First of all, Shelly doesn't budge for 15 minutes.  She stays sitting in front of the T.V.  I tell her on the next commercial break she needs to come into the kitchen and set the table.  Upon my two reminder's she finally does, and she sets the table for . . . 2 people.  Two?  Why two, I have no idea, because there are 4 people in the house at the moment who are ready to sit down and have dinner.   I have to tell her to come back in the kitchen and set the table for four.  This should be common sense.  At 10 I would've thought that counting would have been taught in schools.  After she gets the extra place settings, I look and see that there are no plates on the table.  "Shelly.  The table needs plates!"  She then tells me that her mother serves everybody in the kitchen.  Reminder...I'm not her mother.  I tell her that plates need to be set on the table as I will be placing the food on the table for everyone to eat.  She then ignores my last comment and goes and sits down in front of the T.V. yet again.  I now realize this has turned into the battle of the wills and I'm not backing down.  If I back down now, she won't listen to me, and she won't respect me for the next two months.  That I can not have. 

The dining room & living room

I asked her four times to set the table with plates.  FOUR TIMES!  I wasn't having this, I just simply wasn't having this.  Threat number one: set the table with plates or the T.V. goes off.  Simply doesn't budge, so I go and I turn the T.V. off.  Well that was met with whining and complaining.  "Why can't Sarah do it?  She hasn't done anything and I've done everything."  I reply with, "I didn't ask Sarah to do it, I asked you and so did your Dad.  Now set the plates.  Everything is ready and the food will get cold."  Reply number two, "I'm in a comfortable position."  Well, WHOOPDIDOO!  You're in a comfortable position?  What are you the Queen of England?  We went back and forth for about a minute and she was not budging and neither was I.  She then says, "Well fine, I"ll get my own plate."  She goes to the cupboard and takes one plate out.  It would've taken her all of three seconds to pick up three more with it, but she was just being a stubborn little rebel and would NOT do what I asked her to do.  I picked the plate up off the table and set it back in the cupboard.  I told her if she didn't grab the other 4 plates, that she wouldn't be eating at all.  She then has the audacity to call me lazy, and asks why I can't do it.  That's where I almost lost it.  Me.  Lazy? 
I wake up at 7:45 every morning and get HER butt out of bed.  I make HER lunch, to HER liking.  I make HER breakfast.  Make sure all of her stuff is together for school.  Empty the dishwasher, reload the dishwasher clean all the kitchen counter tops.  I vacuum the music room, living room, dining room, kitchen, and conservatory.  I take care of the guinea pigs and make sure the dogs are fed, walked, and taken care of. I do two loads of laundry per day which means folding, ironing and hanging up wet clothes which are not mine.  I dust all the rooms that I vacuum including both girls rooms.  I vacuum the upstairs and clean both bathrooms meanwhile keeping all my stuff in order and clean in my room.  LAZY!?!?!  Really?  Thankfully her Dad walked in and intervened.  That's when the tears started coming.  I can't deal with fake crying tears.  She starts telling this cock and bull story that's not true and twisted and as she's trying to make up answers to make me look bad I said the exact story that happened and she couldn't answer with a thing.  Meanwhile all the food is cold, and no one has plates.  Her Dad then makes a "deal with her" because I've done things differently and he starts to explain how things are normally done.  I replied with, "that's fine, but this is the way we're going to do it tonight.  I wanted Shelly to set the table."  She then complains that Mom normally warms up the plates and that I didn't do that.  What's the point of a warm plate if all the food going onto it is cold anyway?  UGH the irony!!!  They strike a deal and finally we sit down to eat after the food has been ready for 15 minutes.  Hopefully my experiences that I take away from all this will make me a better mother.  Something good has got to come out of me putting up with all this crap?  RIGHT? :)

Oh, the life of an Au Pair . . .