Allison's Wonderland

You would think I would not have a hard time with being in England, because as you are probably well aware of, the United States, and the United Kingdom have the wonderful language of English in common.  Put the Atlantic Ocean in between these two United English speaking countries, and you have a world of differences.  And that includes language as well.  Here are some fine examples of my outsider language blunders.

The first week I was in the U.K. we were invited to a barbeque to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Kind of a big deal.  I was sitting around the fire with some older folks that I had just met and we were all talking about random things.  I was sitting a bit too close to the fire, and in a "lull" moment in conversation, I piped up and said, "Oo...my pants are so hot they're on fire!"  All the old people looked at me for a second, and than burst out laughing.  I was very confused.  I didn't think that was a funny statement.  I was just stating a fact.  They then explained to me that the word "pants" in the U.K. is understood as underwear/panties.  If my pants were on fire, that would mean the same thing as being hot and bothered and wanting you know what. :) Haha.  Lesson number one for the evening.  I also learned that the word "fanny" does not mean bottom or butt like it does in the U.S.A.  In England "fanny" is another word for vagina.  So "fanny pack" takes on a whole new meaning.  Yikes!  Not that I go around talking about fannies very often, but one of the other Au Pair's who is a French girl, her name is Fanny, so I can only imagine the snickers that follow when she introduces herself.  Instead of using the word "pants" I'll stick to the English version which is trousers.  Way longer and I hate the way it sounds.  They also call sweaters, "jumpers" which reminds me of the terrible things I use to wear when I was in elementary school that were all connected with the suspender type clasps.

My most recent blunder was quite a big one.  Sophie, one of the girls I watch, and I were in the hot tub Friday night while I was babysitting.  She was doing something silly, and I called her a "silly wanker."  Well, I always thought that the word wanker was equivalent to the word idiot.  I go around at home calling my sister, friends, and family "little idiots", so I just was carrying that same mentality over to England and calling the girls I watch little idiots.  It's a term of endearment I have.  Well, Sophie's mouth dropped to the bottom of the hot tub, and she was like, "Oh Wow!  That's a big word.  I'm telling my mother you cursed at me."  I was like, "what?"  She then went onto tell me that "Wanker" in the U.K. is pretty much the same as calling someone a "Mother F****r."  Well I don't use that sort of language so I felt pretty awful about calling her that.  I was extremely apologetic, but both of us just kind of laughed it off as she clearly saw my surprise once she explained the meaning.  I guess I won't go around calling people wankers anymore.  WHOOPSY!

Same language, but worlds apart!  I'll have to be more careful when speaking U.S. English. :)