Allison's Wonderland

 

E.B. & Jane

The Royal Ascot races. I've been destined to go  ever since I was a small girl who was obsessed with the movie "My Fair Lady."  I would run around the house and sing the songs, and after being in the Musical my Senior year of college, I just had to go.  During the show I was one of the spectators with my friend Dan Martin and it was our most favorite scene out of any of them!  We even made up our own names.  Him being E.B. and I was Jane.  It was some of the most fun I've had on stage.  

Ascot Outfit

Anyways, I've always wanted to go and at last I finally made it.  But it honestly took somedoing. For real. On Wednesday I went shopping with a girlfriend up in a place called Uxbridge. I only wanted to look for a hat but instead found a dress, tights and a hat. Just my luck. It meant spending money I didn't have.  I did my research the night before about dress code, what you can bring in, and how exactly I was getting there.  Again, I don't have a car here in England, so I have to rely on public transportation.  Something I hate doing!  I like to be in control, what can I say? 

Ascot Gavot Face

Wendy dropped me off at the main bus station in town.  The bus was suppose to arrive at 11:06.  I was waiting at 11:00 just in case it decided to come early.  It was 11:15 and I received a call from Wendy saying how she overheard that the buses were on strike and how I might not be able to get one.  Great!  Well after talking with two little old ladies at the stop they assure me that I'm fine and that the bus was running.  On the way to Slough, which is an arm pit and no one around here likes it, I met a very nice couple who I stayed and talked to awhile at the bus station coffee shop.  It was then time to board another bus.  The thing with public transportation is a trip that would normally take you 30 minutes in the car ends up taking 2 hours.  This was the case today.  I was racing against time as well, being that the royal parade where the queen comes in was at 2:00.  At the rate I was going I wasn't going to get there till 4:00 in the afternoon. After talking to the bus driver, I found out that the bus to Ascot, really wasn't going to Ascot at all as they were routing traffic around the stadium.  Just my luck.  I decided to stay on the bus and see just where it would drop me off.  I HATE traveling by bus just for the record.  It makes me a nervous wreck!  

Walking to Ascot

After taking my seat, I found a nice older gentleman to talk to on the bus ride to Ascot.  He was very informative and told me all about the olden days when he use to go to Ascot.  How the Silver Ring use to be so nice (the peasant seats which I had purchased) but isn't anymore.  We also got into politics and everything else you could've imagined.  It was a fun ride.  I also talked to another older lady (Wendy makes fun of me by the way, because I just love talking to the older crowd) who was having a bad day, but I tried to make it better with my funny anecdotes.  Don't know if it worked or not.  Thanks to my old man friend on the bus he knew exactly where the bus was dropping me off and told me exactly where I should go.  THANK YOU OLD MAN!  He also told me who I should bet on in the races.  The race at 3:45 had a horse named "Laugh Out Loud" who was competing.  He told me I should bet on him and I gave him my word that I would.  I personally wanted to bet on the jockey who would be wearing the pink and white colors as I thought they were the prettiest.  But since I gave him my word, Laugh Out Loud it was.  

Ascot Race Course - Established 1711

After walking up the hill for about 10 minutes I saw the Royal Race Course in sight.  Let me tell you just how stupid I felt walking in there.  Number one I was wearing flats.  My purse held my heels which I was waiting to put on later.  Beauty is pain, but I wasn't about to start the day off being in pain, so I waited.  After seeing all the women in heels I quickly switched right there on the street.  Next I felt like an idiot for taking the bus because everyone arrived in limos, Mercedes-Benz, Jaguars, Rolls Royce, etc.  I looked like the little poor peasant.  As I was walking I couldn't help but notice all the outfits.  They were absolutely spectacular!  Who cares about the horses...I came to see the clothes!  The hats were out of this world amazing, and all the men were in tails and top hats.  Just like the movie!  I loved it.  I felt like a kid in Disney World.  After passing the Royal Enclosure, and the Grandstand seats, I was on my way to the Silver Ring where the peasants go.  By the time I got there my feet were killing me in my heels.  But I did not see one girl wearing flats.  Not a one.  http://www.ascot.co.uk/

The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh

Once there I was in awe of all the sights, sounds, smells, and well the people.  It was close to two in the afternoon and some people were already hammered.  Yikes!  I ran over, well not ran over, because I was in terrible heels, but I hurried over to the track in order to get a good glimpse of the Royal Parade.  The Queen was coming!!  She rolled right past us dressed in her little purple outfit with her little purple hat.  I was on the lookout for Kate, but never saw her.  I guess she didn't come to the races.   That was kind of a let down but I wasn't about to let it ruin my day.

The Grand Stand - I will be there next time!

My 5 Pound Bet

Horse racing is all about the betting. I'm not normally a gambling person but since I was having a day at the races, I needed to bet. I didn't have much money with me and I knew I had to get a taxi ride home so my funds were limited. Since I promised my old man friend on the bus I would bet on "Laugh Out Loud", which I personally thought was a stupid name for a horse, I was true to my word and put 5 pounds down that he would win. My odds were 4 to 1 so if he won I would get 20 pounds back. I went up into the stands to watch the race. As we waited for it to start, there was a serious commotion coming from the stands. I looked over to my left and two guys dressed in suits were going at it swinging fists at each other. I wanted to start yelling "Fight! Fight! Fight!" but didn't. They started head butting each other. It was super funny because they were dressed so nice.  Oh...just a day at the Royal Ascot races. :)

Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady

The race began!  I thought that they still fired a gun to set off the races, but in all actuality they just open the stalls and that's the start.  You never really know it was coming.  While I was sitting in the stands I heard lots and lots of things.  In the movie, My Fair Lady she gets in trouble for saying, "Come on Dover!  Move your Bloomin @$$!!"  Hence the title of my blog, but here in the stands I was hearing much much worse.  You can only imagine what all I heard.  It just was ironic because poor little Audrey Hepburn got in trouble for ass, and here I was surrounded by a plethora of foul language.  Where is the Class PEOPLE?   Anyway, back to the race.


So as the horses came around the Silver Ring, the whole stands went into an uproarious cheer.  It was fun and amazing.  The horse I bet on, number 8, was no where to be seen, but guess who was in the lead?  You guessed it, the pink and white jockey who I was going to bet on, had not my little friend on the bus told me to go for Laugh Out Loud.  Oh the IRONY!  Number 4, pink and white, ended up winning.  The horses name was Fallen For You with odds of 12 to 1.  I would've mad 55 pounds!  Ugh I was so mad.  My horse didn't even rank.  He ended up sixth.  This is why I don't bet because I suck at it.  The race I bet on was called the Coronation Stakes.  I wanted to bet on others, but I knew that I was looking at about a 50 pound Taxi ride if not more.  No more betting for this girl.  Meanwhile my stomach was growling so in between races I had to grab some fish and chips for 7.85.  My bus friend warned me to eat before I went, but who wants to do that?

The Silver Ring Main Tent

Waiting for the Race

It was a lively day.  Very exciting.  On the Queen's Vase race, the Queen's Horse, Estimate, came in 1st place.  This was a huge deal being that it's the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year and all.  I'm wondering if it was actually rigged.  We'll never know.  The last race of the day was the Buckingham Palace Stakes race where I wanted to bet again, but just didn't.  Eton Forever came in first and Jamesie in second.  After the final race I decided to put the flats back on and started walking toward where I thought I'd pick up my Taxi.  As I walked back I observed a lot of drunk people.  Women in their hats that were passed out, and men who were swinging around trees doing "pole dancing".  I was all quite entertaining but I was tired and ready to be home.  I called Taxi Tom who really isn't a Taxi driver, but is at the same time and he said he'd be there in about an hour.  Traffic was terrible, so I patiently waited in a little bus stop.  One drunk girl in front of me started carrying out a huge metal sign that said "Pedestrian Crossing.  Please stop at red light," which was bigger than her.  That was also amusing.  The things people do.

The Race Course

At the bus stop I met several interesting people.  First I met a man and his wife who were obviously drunk but were very pleasant company.  They were so funny and interacted with each other how I want my husband (if I ever get one) and I to act when together.  He asked me where I was from and when I told him Virginia he started singing, "West Virginia, Mountain Momma . . . "  He got the whole bus stop and street corner singing it.  It was pretty funny, but I informed him he had the wrong Virginia, but that he was close. :)  After chatting with them for awhile as they waited for their taxi, randomly the lady's friend gets down on her knees and starts pulling at the lady I'm talking to's tights.  Her husband pulls out a camera and begins filming.  I'm sitting there thinking to myself, "What the heck are they doing?"  She then began to explain that every time they go out and one of the women's tights gets a hole in them, they have to be ripped off right then and there.  I just laughed and watched as her friend and husband just started ripping off the her tights.  She just sat there nonchalantly like it was a very common occurrence.  It was so bizarre and so incredibly funny.  I was definitely entertained in the hour that I waited for Taxi Tom.

Starting Stalls

After my tight ripping friends left, and we said our goodbye's like we had known each other for a years, another man sits down next to me and starts smoking a cigarette.  He then begins to ask me if I had a good day at the races and if it was my first time.  I told him that it was and that I had a great time, but didn't win anything.  I then asked him if he had had a good day and if he won any money.  He then told me that his horse, Jamesie, came in second in the last race.  Here I was thinking that okay he put money on a horse for second place and won.  After chatting for awhile, come to find out he's the horse's owner/trainer and he got to meet the Queen and prance around in the Royal Enclosure.  He was wearing a top hat and tails, and was such an extremely nice man.  He was Irish to top it all off, which are some of my favorite people ever.  I asked him how much he had won in the whole ordeal and he just says, "A little".  Oh to be rich and win horse races!  Must be nice.

Finally taxi Tom arrived and I was off for home.  I'm glad I didn't have to jump on public transportation and switch 5 different buses.  It was nice to just sit down and relax and listen to Taxi Tom banter about politics.  Once at home I asked Taxi Tom how much I owed him.  He said, for a 40 minute cab ride, in which he had to sit in traffic for hours, he only charged me 20 pounds.  I was flabbergasted!  I thought it was going to be at least 40!  Oh what a nice man!  I waved him goodbye and promised to make him brownies one day.  Once I made it upstairs to my bed, I just passed right on out.  My dream had come true and I can finally cross The Royal Ascot Race off my list!

Results of the day if you're interested