Allison's Wonderland

Gravity.

People either love it or they hate it.  As humans we write songs about defying it, (Idina Menzel you'll always be the one and only Elphaba) we direct movies about loosing it (Sandra you did a wonderful job by the way) and scientists are constantly studying it (Isaac Newton thank you for that discovery)
As much as gravity fascinates we small miniscule humans, we are always trying to defy it.  We jump out of airplanes, base jump off bridges, and hang glide off mountains.  No matter how hard we try to defy gravity, we always come back to it.  Just take a look at Hollywood.  Many a starlit have tried to Botox their way out of gravity, face lifted their way away from gravity and got several boob jobs to help those suckers stay up.  Even after all that work they normally look worse than they started out.  As you can see, no matter what we do gravity wins.

So CUTE!

This brings me to my angry point.   As I was driving to work earlier in the week I noticed a rather larger girl running on the side of the road.  Now I'm not thin by any means.  I'm under the 200 pound mark but somewhere north of the 140 pound mark to give you a slight idea of what we're dealing with here.  As I drove past this very motivated individual I couldn't help but take notice of what she was wearing.  She was jogging and had on a T-shirt, and white biker shorts underneath her red basketball shorts that came down to her knee.  The girl was dressed to run and wasn't trying to show off her body like most females who work out.  I secretly applauded that fact.  But as I watched her come up to my car as I sat at the stoplight, I noticed she was defying gravity.  How you may ask?  Her red basketball shorts were completely wedged up on one side in between her legs.  This is where I get angry.  WHY IN THE WORLD DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US FEMALES!?!?!  Of all things we love to defy gravity and have our shorts ride up to places they don't belong.  Let's not even get started on the under garments.  The only thing that ever goes up naturally is a females clothing.  I'm sick and tired of it!  I refuse to wear shorts in the summer for this very reason.  Skirts don't find their way in places they shouldn't be.  Maybe women really weren't meant to wear shorts.  Do you ever wonder?  It wasn't till about the mid 40's that shorts became acceptable for females.  In the grand timeline 1940 till now is not that long.  Women's liberation screwed us big time.  There's no cure for the riding up short.  None whatsoever.  You women who have the cute little legs where those thighs don't even come within the same time zone, well more power to you because all of us other females are defying gravity.  You should be very very jealous.

I can get off my soap box, but this has been bothering me for a very long time now.  Instead of trying to defy gravity through all these extreme sports, ladies, just put on a pair of shorts and you'll make history.