Allison's Wonderland

At least I like to think I have moves like Jagger . . . :)

Do you ever have flashes of your life where it seems like you're in a movie? Well that's how this past Friday night went for me. I was sitting in Villanova at 7:30 just being bored and making dinner for Gian and Mattia when Jess phones me and asked if I wanted to go to Cuneo. Cuneo is a town about 30 minutes away with more to do than Prato, Villanova and Mondovi combined. It's about the size of the Burg, so that's saying something about the surrounding areas. I said sure I'm game for whatever, and that's when my "movie night" began.
Jess picked me up in the Zom Mobile, and due to the fact that the car has no working radio, Amy was sitting in the front seat with Jess's laptop. It was so ghetto, but hey, it did the job. We had some tunes. On our way into Cuneo we passed two girls on the side of the road that were dressed kind of skanky and were just standing there. Amy's like, "PROSTITUTES!" I saw myself two bonafide prostitutes. I've only seen them one other time before while I was in Spain. Crazy! After spotting the ladies of the night we tried to find ourselves a parking spot. I don't know why but we could NOT find anything on the main road. After what seemed forever, we found a spot and from Amy's careful direction, Jess did the worst parking job I have ever seen anyone do. Hahah...

We walked down the street to this one place where it was seriously hopping. We into the bar to grab a drink, but we couldn't move. We finally made our way through to the bar where we grazed the Apertivo small plates like cattle. It was sooo good! In order to drink our drinks, we had to go outside, because otherwise someone would've hit our drinks out of our hands. Once outside, the people watching was prime viewing. There was weird outfits. One girl who thought it was cool to crimp her hair, and this one girl whose shirt made it look like she had a tail growing out of her butt kind of like in the movie "Shallow Hal" if you know what I'm talking about. We weren't really feeling this place because it was just so crowded so we headed to another place down the road. Jess and Amy had been here before and it looked pretty sweet.

When we got there the place was honestly, a little dead. They had a DJ in one corner with a tiny dance floor. We took to a booth and ordered a round of drinks. I had to pee so I set off to find the bathroom. That's when I ran across the two world's weirdest people. Well, maybe not the weirdest but they were super close. They were like the two bathroom guards. The one guy talked and looked like Milton from the movie Office Space. It was so weird.

Anyway, the DJ started playing some good music so I asked the girls if they'd be embarrassed if I went out on the dance floor and started shaking it. They said no, so I slowly slid out of the booth and onto the floor. Danced to the entire song with just me and myself. I guess I gained the attention of the whole bar and afterwards we had three guys come up and talk to us. They weren't creepy guys in the least, but they were fun loving older guys who just wanted to dance. Once I started it off, everybody was out on the dance floor. It was amazing, and definitely a "movie moment." I think I got the moves like Jagger. HAHA...at one point people were dancing up on the bar, our friend Francesco took Jess by the arm and was swinging her around. I got my chance to dance with him, and their friend Marco was making us all laugh. It was an awesome time. We spent about an hour and half dancing there, and then it was on to the next adventure.

We walked to this place called Ex Lavatoi. Jess and Amy had been there before and we met up with their friend Andrea who worked there. Lucky for us, he bought us two rounds of shots which were super sweet, and super good. Jess was eyeing this guy in a plaid shirt that was super hot, and for some reason he pulled up his shirt and had black X's on his nipples. I grabbed one and tried to rip it off. Haha...it was weird, but he asked me to. We met this other guy who was getting his PHD in Brisbane and absolutely loved Amy because she was Australian. He looked like he was close to our age, but he had pre-mature gray hair. Not too bad looking though. After making new friends, our old friends arrived and we hit the dance floor hard core with them.

I always like dancing on something...like a box, a stage, or a chair, because it gives me more room to move around. I hate feeling like cattle shoved right up against each other. So we all ran up to the stage where these two really skanky girls were dancing. Like there dresses didn't even cover their bums, or their Cooch Cooch's. Once we got there they left though, because we out shined. We danced and had an awesome time! I was the idiot who wore heals that night, but I wanted to dance all the same. This was movie moment #2, because we were dancing so good and hard that we got the crowd into it and people were copying our dance moves. SO FUN! Marco and Francesco were three sheets to the wind and were dancing like crazy people. That made it all the more fun! Although at one point in the night Marco bit my cheek. Not cool, not cool at all. It was getting to be close to three and our friends left to go to another place, so I requested Party Rocker's to end the night. They played it and me and Amy made a spectacle of ourselves, but it was a good one. We did the choreography that we knew to the song, and everybody was watching and cheering us on. Once it was over we just peaced out and left. I got about three compliments on my dance moves on the way out and I felt on top of the world.

Our last stop for the evening was this place called Cabiria. We didn't exactly know where it was, but I got Francesco's phone number, so if we got lost we were in luck. That is to say if he wasn't too awful drunk. We finally find the place and start walking inside. This is movie moment #3. We up to the security guards and he tells us that the place is closed. We can clearly see up ahead, that there are people waiting in line to go in, so we're like WHAT!?!?! It can't be, even though it is a little past 3:00 in the morning. So our gray haired friend walks past us that we met at Ex Lavatoi that loved Amy, and he asks us if we wan to get in. We're like YEAH! So he starts talking to the security guards and tells him that we're with him. SCORE! We got in! Like I said...Movie moment! Once we got into the place it was so stinkin crowded, we couldn't even move. It was seriously like cattle. WORSTIES!! We stayed for maybe 15 minutes and then we left. Not my scene. There was no stage and nothing for us to dance on other than the dance floor. YUCK!

On the way out to the car this guy starts following us and then asks us for Blow...aka Cocaine. Umm...nope don't got any. Leave us ALONE! Amy looks over at Jess and is like Go Go Go, because the dude was knocking on our car window! CREEP! Then we had to stop on the side of the road for Amy to do a wild pee. Haha...! It was a seriously fun night. Probably one of the best since I've been in Italy!